The War Thread

*numb chucks trizn in the groin for dismantling TenTen's Rabbit! lol


this thread is actually pretty funny haha

* pours sulphuric acid on ALL the people who defected to Team Swizz!!*

*shaves Lola and Laz's heads for beign in team Donkey Butt*

Oooh this is fun!!!

*shanks cousin with a spork for umm for living somewhere ive always wanted to visit!!!*

gah cousin! i keep getting you and i keep not being able to think of an reason for you!!!

*dropkicks cousin in the teeth for already repeating both reasons AND methods on the second page!*

You've got to be the first person the world to run out of reasons to wanna hurt me so soon!!

*pays an alien to come and suck cousins brain out with a bendy straw for pointing out my non-violent flawssss"

rofl i cant help it cousin!

*pays alien even more money to stop before the brains are sucked out completely, and return to Indiana for Mary's brains [because hers taste better] for lacking in violent tendencies*

*pays alien even MORE money to stop sucking out my brains, and to go and use its mind control powers on cousin and make her admit her undying love for jacob!!!"

* goes at cousin with an electric drill for even THINKING about making me switch sides*

*runs after cousin with a sledge hammer, just to keep it in the tool family!*

talk about cousinly love! rofl geeze! XD

* sends a huge very angry very hungry lion after cousin because..well I'm still angry you tried to make me Team jacob!!*

LOL. I know, isn't is a beautiful thing?

*has sparxy dazzle the lion into going after you instead just because its funny!!!*

hahaha oh yeah.

* hypnotises Emmett so that he thinks cousin is after Rosalie because she finds me getting mauled by a lion funny*

definitely dude. This the way ALL cousins should show love

*starts changing emotions rapidly near jasper so that he's ready to go crazy and then blame it on cousin because she made one of the top 5 sexiest vampires in the universe want to murder me!!!*

hahaha of course! this is the best kind of cousinly love! people are going to start thinking that we're really cousins XD.

*convinces Edward that...no I just can't do it!!...ummm....promises Jane her shot at Bella if she'll go and find cousin because she made one of the 2 sexiest vampires in the universe want to kill me!!*

Yeah I know! Its not gonna be ling before I start getting FB questions about it!! And then we can travel the world and go on Oprah and they'll do a special on the non-related cousins!

i knowww!!! i was going to have edward do something too, but im like noooooo thats just too mean!!!

*convinces sam that cousin is a vampire whose talent is to keep their human traits because well... just because!!!*

hahaha i know! im just waiting for the day when someones like... that girls your cousin!? ahhahaa. yes! oprah can do a special on us! rofl! wooo!

yeah i just couldn't do it...I tried but something revolted inside of me. I'm just capable of that amount of mean-ness it would seem

*convinces Leah that cousin is a vampire who wants to bite Jacob because she couldn't come up with a reason*

Yeah this is JUST the kind of thing Oprah goes in for. Pregnant Man. Conjoined Twins. Non-Related Cousins. Perfect

*explains to leah that cousin is a cold-hearted lying bloodsucker and that she just blamed me as a cover up so that SHE could attack jake because she called me out on not having a reason!!!*

wooo oprah's gonna love us! XD. so first we'll try the fangirl show and if that doesnt work non-related cousins who have technically never met will be our second in XD.

*explains to Leah that cousin has spcial mind-warping talents like the bloodsucker Edward, and that the leech is going to kill Jakey! because she hasn't bought her private jet already!*

Yes. We have to have backups. One of those has got to interest her!! And if not we'll just have to come up with a Plan C...and D...and how many we need. Ooooh I have our Plan C: 4 girls all planning on marrying the same fictional character!!

*makes friends with nessie and tell her that this crazy vampire from the volturi who can disguise herself as a human is coming to kill jake and she'll send all the cullens after cousin because cousin is making it sound like im a bad vampire!!!!*

Plan D! Cullenese! fangirls so PASSIONATE that they made a language to describe their passion XD. and the actually use it on facebook!

*Makes friends with all the witnesses and tells them that the Cullens have come under the spell of a dangerous vampire who must be taken out because cousin is sending all the Cullens after me!*

LOL Love it!! I'll think of a Plan E after dinner!!

*makes friends with Aro and tells him that the witnesses are being dazzled by this crazed vampire who seriously needs to be taken out for the world's safety!!!*

*makes friends with Caius and Marcus and the rest of the guard, and convinces them that this out of control dangerous vampire has taken over the Cullens and Aro with her super powers and she needs to be taken out to keep the secret...because she's not gonna be on tonight to keep up the killing fun!*

*re-incarnates marcus's women so that he, and his favorites join my side then theyll take cousin out as a favor for me because shell still be on tonight even though im not able to!"

nicely done!! very strategic...

*kidnaps Caius so that the Denalis can have their revenge for Irina, and in return they can do me the favour of ripping cousin to shreds and burning the pieces because I'm gonna be all lonesome!!*

* BRUCE LEE roundhouse kicks Mary back for throwing me off a sky scraper and forgetting I have flying skills

* Punches and boxes Ally for surrendering Mair-Mair to the Volturi