Jacob Quotes

Here are a list of Jacob quotes i love from the 4 book series, tell me your favs...

First of all my FAV quote of all (well today anyway)

Does my being half-naked bother you?
(no way, i like it lol, take more off lol)

My fav's from Twilight -

I don’t think a tank could take out that old monster.
(referring to Bella's truck)

You wouldn’t happen to know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?
(because there is no way Bella would know)

So do you think we’re a bunch of superstitious natives or what?
(after telling the 'cold one's' and wolf stories'

Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?
(lol)

New Moon -


They’re just cliff diving, Bella. Recreation. La Push doesn’t have a mall, you know.
(love it because it set the scene on how much there is not to do in La Push)

I swear, they’re like hall monitors gone bad.
(referring to the pack, before he joined)

What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.
(because i dont like Mike, and he was picking on Mike at that point)

Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it’s not your secret to tell.
(it really set the scene for the pack)

Well, I’m so sorry that I can’t be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I’m just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?
(everyone likes this one right lol)

Vampires don’t count as people.
(lol, love that quote)

Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?
(ahahaha love it)

Yeah, I’ll always be your friend. No matter WHAT you love.
(helped put in perspective how Jacob was feeling about Bella)

Sam would be mad if I broke the treaty, and you probably wouldn’t like it too much if I killed your friend.

Ok so my hand i sore now, but i will def add my Eclipse and Breaking Dawn quotes very soon....

Please tell me your favourite Jacob quotes

From BD:

"...I still think that Dracula one &Dracula two are creep-tacular."

Yeah i love that as well, it was definatly going to be one of the one's i wrote on here.

But my hand is sore after just the Twilight and New Moon one's lol!

And i have ALOT more from BD and Eclipse....ouch!! LOL!! It is worth it though, cuz it is about Jacob..

"He's like a drug to you, Bella. I can see that you can't live without him now. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

Ok, now my fav quotes from Eclipse, will do Breaking Dawn later, my hand is still sore from before LOL!!

Eclipse first....

Sorry. I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.

The fortune-telling bloodsucker can’t see us? Seriously? That’s excellent!
(Jacobs excitement made me excited there)

They shouldn’t exist. Their existence goes against nature.
(talking about the vampires)

You think I should be as forgiving as you are? We can’t all be saints and martyrs.

Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV.
(i also thought that was only done on tv Jacob)

All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India.
(talking about his garage)

That’s more than just a fashion statement — it sucks to carry jeans in your mouth.
(well i wouldnt mind if you didnt have the shorts at all)

One of the many hazards of socializing with vampires. It makes you smell bad. A minor hazard, comparatively.

You can have me the way I am — bad behavior included — or not at all.
(very emo, i LOVE it)

Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?
(NO ONE GET ANY IDEAS lol)

According to you, you’ve kissed just one person — who isn’t even really a person — in your whole life, and you’re calling it quits? How do you know that’s what you want? Shouldn’t you play the field a little?
(AH HA you tell her Jake)

You could kiss me, for example. I don’t mind if you want to use me to experiment.
(nice try Jake lol)

Go fetch a space heater- please- I’m not a St. Bernard.

Dr. Fang isn’t sure how much pain medication I need, so he’s going with trial and error. Think he overdid it.
(lol in regards to after Jacob was badly hurt and broke the right side of his body)

He’s playing every bit as hard as I am, only he knows what he’s doing and I don’t. Don’t blame me because he’s a better manipulator than I am — I haven’t been around long enough to learn all his tricks.
(this one is important to me, because i could see Edward was playing for Bella as hard as Jake was, and he pointed it out, yesh)

I’d hate to shatter the dream world you live in — the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand — so I won’t tell you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away.
(in the epilogue)

If the silence in my head lasted, I would never go back. I wouldn’t be the first one to choose this form over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again… I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me.

^^ That made me cry so much that last quote, i just couldnt stop crying ^^

This: "Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?" (It actuall y gave me that idea on that locked topic we had. )

I guess he was just joking... Or not. Awww, Jake. Be serious please.

Well i hope he was joking, because i really didnt want Bella to get any idea's!

Im so glad she never found that bat she asked Charlie for!! LOL!

I should give it to Jacob for coming up with the the stress-free quotes.

Yeah he really had the best quotes in the entire series in my opinion!!

And his chapter names in his POV in Breaking Dawn lightened my mood all the time, they were sooooooo funny!! =D

Ten-why didnt u just say you liked everything he said lolz

Because that wouldnt be as fun as typing the one's i remember, which are clearly my fav's or else i wouldnt remember them...LOL!!

I agree with Tennille. Because everything Edward says is my fave as well. LOL. But, there's a select few that tops it all.

Yep, and i feel better knowing im not the only one who feels the same way!! LOL!

Ok and now my Breaking Dawn Quotes....

Kind is my middle name.
(yes it is lol)

Yeah – the party can start. The best man finally made it.
(i was sooooo happy he came back)

I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect.
(we all hate those voices in our heads Jake)

Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people’s voices don’t send babysitters to watch them.
(lol, that line had me in stitches for hours lol)

Life sucks, and then you die. Yeah, I should be so lucky.

Wow, I bet Leah’s really going to love to hear that you want to spend some quality time with her. It’ll just warm the cockles of her heart.

I wondered – would a bullet through my temple actually kill me or just leave a really big mess for me to clean up?
(DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT)

It was hard being around imprinted people. No matter what stage they were in – about to tie the knot like Sam or just a much-abused nanny like Quil – the peace and certainty they always radiated was downright puke-inducing.
(Jacob shows his sensitivity...lol...or not)

Sometimes I thought it might be fun to enter a race – you know, like the Olympic trials or something. It would be cool to watch the expressions on those star athlete’s faces when I blew by them. Only I was pretty sure the testing they did to make sure you weren’t on steroids would probably turn up some really freaky crap in my blood.
(another line that CRACKED ME UP lol)

Huh – I wondered if Sam would consider my death provocation. Probably say I got what I deserved. Wouldn’t want to offend his bloodsucker BFFs.

I didn’t want to kill girls… even vampire girls. Though I might make an exception for that blonde.
(lol, Jacob should be a comedian)

Jeez, she was running true to form. Of course, die for the monster spawn. It was so Bella.

Did you ever notice that she’s exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs.
(Jacob was pretty angry at Edward by now)

I wondered if he was really going crazy. Could vampires lose their minds?
(Jacob and i felt the same way, i thought poor Edward was losing it as well)

I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? SO messed up. So tempting.

Is dementia one of your symptoms?

Emergency vampirization.
(but what if it was too late)

Oh, I hadn’t heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons.

I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells.
(yep, i thought so too)

Wouldn’t it be just peachy if I couldn’t take care of Seth for one freaking night? What if something happened to him on my watch? Leah would shred me into kibble.

Blood-Death-Blood
(yep, he did save Bella's life at this point, lucky Edward can read minds)

Don’t blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head.

She understands that you’re gonna die and she doesn’t care, s’long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal.

Jeez, how did anyone stand living with him? It was really too bad he couldn’t hear Bella’s thoughts. Then he’d annoy the crap out of her, too, and she’d get tired of him.

Nudity was an inconvenient but unavoidable part of pack life. We’d all thought nothing of it before Leah came along. Then it got awkward.

Edward seemed to be in agreement with my thoughts – we were on the same wavelength so much lately it was crazy.

How much blood would it take to keep her going? At some point, would they start trotting in the neighbors?
(hahaha)

You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
(i love blonde jokes, because i am naturally blonde under my dyed black hair, so i think they are funny LOL)

I snorted. Vampire mother hen – bizarre.


Vampires get headaches?
(lol)

What’s for breakfast? O negative or AB positive?
(AHAHAHAHAHAHA)

This was the problem with hanging out with vampires – you got used to them. They started messing up the way you saw the world. They started feeling like friends.


As much as I knew it was a stupid thing to do, I couldn’t stop myself. I must be some kind of masochist.
(no your not)

Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don’t think I’d want to eat something Blondie’s spit in. I’d bet my system wouldn’t take too kindly to venom.
(yep)

Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.


Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?
(lol, well those vamps do know everything LOL)

So… um… what’s the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster.
(lol, little monster, i was on the same wavelenght)

Why do you want me here? Seth could keep you warm, and he’s probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when I walk in the door, you smile like I’m your favorite person in the world.
(i was confused as well)

I’m not a bloodsucker, so maybe I’m missing something, but Charlie seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal.



S’not so hard to erase a blonde’s memory. Just blow in her ear.
(LOL LOL LOL)


I’d been planning to take off and get some Z’s, but the chance to ruin Rosalie’s morning seemed too good to pass up.


Someday, Beauty Queen, you’re going to get tired of just threatening me. I’m really looking forward to that.


In that moment, I knew that I was alone. All alone. I wanted to kick myself when I realized how much I’d been counting on that loathsome vampire. How stupid – as if you could ever trust a leech! Of course he would betray me in the end.
(i wanted to cry for jake here)

In a sick way, it was my lucky day. If by lucky you meant taking a well-traveled highway at two hundred without so much as seeing one cop, even in the thirty-mile-an-hour speed-trap towns. What a letdown. A little chase action might have been nice, not to mention that the license plate info would bring the heat down on the leech. Sure, he’d buy his way out of it, but it might have been just a little inconvenient for him.
(bahahahaha i would have thought the same thing)

Sometimes they stared back. Sometimes they looked scared – like they were thinking, Who is this big freak glaring at me? Sometimes I thought they looked kind of interested, but maybe that was just my ego running wild.


Maybe I was what Leah thought she was. Some kind of dead end that shouldn’t be passed on to another generation. Or maybe it was just that my life was a big, cruel joke, and there was no escape from the punch line.


Nice girl who knew cars. Wow. I stared at her face harder, wishing I knew how to make it work. C’mon, Jake – imprint already.
(lol, yeah, unfortunatly it didnt work like that)

So the psycho was “Rose” now. He’d completely crossed over to the dark side.


Crazy how easy it was, walking through the dark with a vampire right beside me. It didn’t feel unsafe, or even uncomfortable, really. It felt like walking next to anybody. Well, anybody who smelled really bad.

You can talk when you’re not being stupid.


All the king’s horses and all the king’s men… But there was nothing there, just me, just him. Working over a corpse. Because that’s all that was left of the girl we both loved. This broken, bled-out, mangled corpse. We couldn’t put Bella together again.


Of course it would want blood. What else would you feed the kind of monster that would brutally mutilate its own mother? It might as well have been drinking Bella’s blood. Maybe it was.


Why should I let him get away from what he’d done? Wouldn’t it be more fair – more satisfying – to let him live with nothing, nothing at all?



I gotta say it, Bells. You’re a freak show.


I’m getting older here, Bella. Okay, not technically, but you get the idea.


He’s brave. Brave as you are. Didn’t pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should’ve seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless.
(damn, Charlie is lucky, i wish Jake would take his clothes off for me lol)

Jeez, Bells. You didn’t used to be so melodramatic. Is that a vampire thing?
(Im saying yes)

After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, ‘She wishes she was that cool!’
(ahahaha)

Bella’s supposed to be a grown-up. Married and a mom and all that. Shouldn’t there be more dignity?
(when Bella was breaking rocks and stuff after she was turned)

I’m not my pack’s nanny.

Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.
(yep, me too)

Stupid leeches. Think they’re so superior.


Real. Does that make me imaginary?
(lol)

I guess things are going to be kind of boring now, aren’t they?
(right at the end)


MY HAND IS SORE AGAIN NOW !! LOL !! But hope you enjoy...

wow that is alot of quotes Tennille.
are you sure you have enough there.
i mean, i know jacob says alot of funny shizz, but how do you remember all them?

Im just that damn good Troy!!

I can continue if you would like, there are a few more i can think of from each book ya know!! LOL!!

i am a hundred percent positive you could tell me a couple hundred more.
which is why i will just shut up now because i am overloaded with Jacob at the moment.
lolz

I love Jacob's quotes, so many funny ones - "Life Sucks then you die. Yeah I should be so lucky."
"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?"
"I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence"
"Yeah – the party can start. The best man finally made it"

and sweet ones that make me wana cry ! -
"I would never hurt her"
"I’m in love with you, Bella. Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you don’t feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn’t want a miscommunication to stand in our way."
"He’s like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can’t live without him now. It’s too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

I actually had a Jake quote as my FB status a while back. I thought I'd have Ten squealing all over my wall here...

" I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire's wife to shack up and procreate. Nice."

Thats one my favourites...

i love the here's to responsibility twice a week and recklessness everyday inbetween quote! actually... i think im going to go make that my status right now! lol.

that is a great Jake quote cous!

Damn, if only i had noticed that on your FB Ally....i didnt go on there much before though, i hated it, LOL, it has only been in the last week that i have been on there regularly! LOL!

Oh man, i love Jacob all round, the things he says either make me laugh or cry, like he is so fawesome.

he does have some amazing lines dude! really make me giggle.